Series: Jesus Manifesto
Message: Getting Relationships in Order
Preacher: Tony Hunter
Reflection: Japhet De Oliveira
Live Wonder: Zan Long
Live Adventure: Zan Long
Live Beyond: J. Murdock
Live Purpose: Lydia Svoboda
Editor: Becky De Oliveira
Refresh: Begin with prayer. Ask for the Holy Spirit to open your heart to new understanding and for God’s character to be revealed.
Read: Colossians 3:18-4:1 in The Message (MSG). Note 1–3 insights or questions.
Reflect: Following Jesus, knowing Jesus, and accepting Jesus changes the way we interact with each other, and only for the better.
I have found that we all have filters in our lives. Some of these we learn, some we instinctively get, and others we wish we had, after the fact. Filters in our language, filters in our actions, filters in our desires. I have also noticed in particular that some older and wiser people tend to lose their filters as they get older. This is not always by accident, but rather is often appears to be an intentional, candid reality check on life which affords them the opportunity to remove a few filters and become more honest. Their life experiences add greater validity to ideas about the success of healthy relationships. If I were to gather their collective wisdom and compress it to one word, it would be “grit.” They are committed to marriage in the good times and bad times, committed to making it work. To be honest, that is really dissatisfying to my own soul. Who wants to be in a marriage because you have “grit?” Who wants to be in a marriage where you never argue because you have “grit?” What have such couples given up to stay committed to their relationships? This question has often left me in a quandary as I think about the current and future generations. Surely grit should not be the highest quality they should look for in a future partner. While I admire it and think it is essential for many things, is it really the secret to the success of a good marriage? Just grit your teeth through this, and you can persevere and succeed, even against all odds!
What if there were another way? Perhaps the focus on grit is a reminder that to make a healthy marriage or friendship last, we have to be willing to ge through the inevitable difficulties that arise. All marriages, all friendships take hard turns. Perhaps the Apostle Paul was mostly speaking to the necessary Jesus approach to relationships which we are called to exercise. Perhaps he was pushing us to seek a way to live love differently?
Recalibrate: What is the best advice anyone has given you about keeping a healthy relationship alive?
Respond: Thank Jesus that He always reaches out.
Research: Read Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth.
Remember: “In all the work you are doing, work the best you can. Work as if you were working for the Lord, not for men” (Colossians 3:23, ICB).
Japhet De Oliveira is administrative director for the Center for Mission and Culture at Adventist Health in Roseville, California.
With your child, experiment with looking through different colored filters. You can use cellophane paper or draw on a window with washable markers. Look through the colors and see what the world looks like when everything is blue or orange or green and yellow. God sees everything through the eyes of love because that is who He is. Let love be your filter. The world is full of wonder when you look at it in love.
Imagine every person you see is a prince or princess. They are not wearing a crown or a fancy dress but they are real royalty. Look in the mirror. You are a warrior prince or warrior princess. I say warrior prince or princess because when you know Jesus loves you and you choose to love others, you are a warrior in the army of love. Our weapons are to be kind and good and gentle. Every person is invited to be a member of God’s royal family but some people don’t know it yet. Your mission is to show them what living in love looks like. Add some more ways to show love to the list we started on Sunday.
I used to get teased a lot as a kid. I was a pretty chubby kid with a bowl haircut and oversized ears, so people certainly had a lot to focus on in order to pick on me. In those times when I was suddenly the target of a bully, I felt like I was two inches tall and every insult and subsequent laugh that came at my expense made me shrink smaller and smaller. All of their joking made me feel as though I didn’t matter and would be better off hidden away somewhere out of the way of everyone who was better than me.
Paul tells fathers Colossians 3:21 to avoid provoking (doing something on purpose to make someone angry or upset) their children because they “may lose heart.” I definitely know that feeling of losing heart, or hope, when facing the people who hurt my feelings on purpose. Paul, who understood how important dads are to their kids, wanted to make sure they never caused their kids to feel small or hopeless. Fathers are told to be a reflection of God the Father, who is a loving parent to all of humanity. He would never intend for us to be uncomfortable in His presence. So to teach kids about how good God is, dads are called to be good to us so that we can better see God’s love for us.
How is your dad like God? How do you see God’s love through your own father? How can you show the love you have for God to your dad? And how can you show the love you have for your dad to God?
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Colossians 3:20). Children are to obey their parents as their parents are to have the best interest of their children in mind and act on that best interest at all times. Children are to have respect for their parents as older and experienced people that dedicate so much of their lives to their children.
Zan Long is GRC director for faith development for ages 0-17. She lives in Sydney, Australia, and serves at her local church in nearby Kellyville.
J. Murdock is associate pastor at Boulder Adventist Church in Boulder, Colorado, where he focuses on youth and young adult ministry.
Lydia Svoboda is a junior theology major at Union College in Lincoln, Nebraska.