Series: Love Glue
Message: Sticky Recipe: Making Something That Lasts
Preacher: Japhet De Oliveira
Reflection: Mike Speegle
Live Wonder: Zan Long
Live Adventure: Zan Long
Live Beyond: Brandon Kharns
Live Purpose: Vanessa Rivera
Editor: Becky De Oliveira

Refresh: Begin with prayer. Ask for the Holy Spirit to open your heart to new understanding and for God’s character to be revealed.

Read: 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 in The Message (MSG). Note 1–3 insights or questions. 

Reflect: It’s been said that if you want to know how a guy will treat you, look at how he treats his mom. In general, that’s good advice (except in the case of momma’s boys who will always treat their mother better than you).

Paul’s description of love is a very practical tool for checking out how “in love” with you the person you are dating is (as well as how “in love” you are with them).

Let’s take another look at that description in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best in everyone. Love never looks back but keeps going to the end.

If you are in a serious dating relationship, how does it look compared to the list? If you’re married, how does your relationship look in comparison? (Remember, you chose him or her. Insisting that they “weren’t this way before we got married” may not be 100% accurate.)

Let’s ask the real question: How do you and your loving ways stack up against the list?

When we’re single, most of us don’t dream of becoming the perfect person for someone; we daydream about finding the perfect person for us.

After marriage, we don’t dream about being the perfect spouse as much as figuring out how our spouse can be a more perfect person for us. It’s easy to evaluate him or her by comparing them to this list, but this is really about you: who you are and who you are becoming. Something to think about.

Recalibrate: If I were to focus more on me and who I am (and am becoming), what would I do differently today?

Respond: If love is about who I am and how I respond, what needs to change for me to become that kind of person?

Research: If you are planning to get married, do yourselves a favor and process these questions together before your wedding.

Remember: “Love is patient and kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4, ICB).

Mike Speegle is the lead pastor for New Hope, an exciting, young, multi-ethnic Adventist Church in Fulton, Maryland. Mike became a follower of Jesus and an Adventist in his early 20s. Pacific Union College was the first Adventist school he ever attended; he met his wife Lorie there. Mike has pastored for 30+ years, served in the Ministerial Association of the General Conference, and has written a book, Big Questions, as well as a number of articles.

Play a game of “Love Does.” To do this, you add “Because I love you” onto the beginning of whatever you are doing. Examples: “Because I love you, we are making pancakes for breakfast.” “Because I love you, we are going to do the shopping together.” Love loves spending time together. Love changes how we do what we do. Remember—love is patient, love is kind (1 Corinthians 13:4). Choose to live love.

Play with something that you can build with. It could be Lego or a train set or magnetic blocks. Notice how the pieces go together. Isn’t it cool that sometimes the pieces can go together in different ways? Love builds up—and if what was built needs to change, love finds a way to do that too.

I really don’t like things I don’t get to participate in. I was just talking to a friend about how much I hate watching gymnastics. I don’t want to watch other people have fun, I want to have fun. I just sit there the whole time thinking, “I wish I could try.” It’s the same for devotionals; it’s really no fun as a spectator sport or a obscure philosophical idea. So for the next few days, I’ll be guiding you through some things based on our text that will help you apply it to your life. No one is going to force you to do anything; you aren’t a little kid anymore and this isn’t a school assignment. But if you decide to go all-in it could change your life. Your relationship with God is, and always will be, completely up to you. I bet that if you decide you want to give going  all-in a shot, you will be surprised by what happens.

OK—pull out that list from yesterday. I hope you can read your own writing. If you can’t (or you didn’t write a list), go back to yesterday’s Daily Walk and do that first. (It’s not a bad idea to do it again for kicks and giggles.) Which ones did you have a reaction to? I’d bet that that those are the spots in your life you need to work on. I want you to chose one of those, just one. Think of ways that you could do a better job at loving in this way and make a plan to change that for just one day. Here’s a plan (that is Personal, Practical, and Provable) for how to do that:

Personal: This is for you and no one else. “I will . . .”
Practical: Make it something you can realistically do. If it’s your first time challenging yourself like this, make a plan that’s easy. And it has to be something you can accomplish today.  “Today I will . . .”
Provable: It’s a really good idea to have someone you trust to keep you accountable. Either way, your goal can’t be so ambiguous that it can’t be proven. “I will think more positive thoughts” doesn’t work. What exactly is more? Instead, try something like, “I will write down five things I am thankful for,” or, better yet, “I will think of five people I am thankful for and tell them how I feel.” Either of these actions can proven; you either have that list or you don’t. Get it?

OK, there it is. Go for it. Make a goal for how you are going to love better today using those three guidelines. Or you can plan to do it tomorrow if you are reading this in the evening—but make sure to have it ready to go first thing.

Let me tell you about my friend Gaby. She loves friendship. She loves friendship so much that I’ve heard her preach about it multiple times. I have yet to meet someone who focuses on the values of friendship like she does. She’s read books about it, she enjoys talking about it, and even seeks feedback on the type of friend she is. It’s pretty great being her friend. I mean, imagine have a friend in your life who is always trying to be a better friend to you. It’s great! Sometimes I feel bad because it makes me feel like I’m not trying hard enough. I noticed something interesting happen in our relationship. The closer I became to her, the more I wanted to be a better friend to her. She never came up to me and said, “Vanessa, you need to step your game up. You need to change your ways.” She doesn’t try to fix people around her. She has made it her personal responsibility to change herself only. Her friendship has changed the way I am a friend to others.  

I want you to think about what you value in a friendship. Are you demonstrating the behaviors your value? What things can you do to be a better friend?

Zan Long is GRC director for faith development groups. She lives in Sydney, Australia, and serves at her local church in nearby Kellyville.
Brandon Kharns is the family life pastor at Placerville Seventh-day Adventist church in the Sierra Nevada foothills of California near Lake Tahoe. 
Vanessa Rivera is a therapist in a community mental health center in Denver, CO, and serves as the lead elder for Live Purpose at Boulder Church.